Communicating Effectively

     How many times have you found yourself apologizing for something that you said because someone took it in a way other than what you meant? Trust me, you're not alone, we've all been there! Communication is a lot more complicated than it seems. For example, communication through texting can be a little tricky. We cannot hear how the other person is saying something, so we can easily think they said it one way when they really meant it in another. In one of the readings I did in preparation for this week's lesson there was a part in the reading where someone said that when they say a word it only means what they mean, not more or less. I thought this was really interesting because communication isn't perfect. There will be times when our words will mean something else to someone else. I do believe that effective communication can be very useful in any type of relationship. Sometimes it can be hard to communicate when we are upset, so here is a way we can work on effective communication when upset so that we let the other person know exactly how we are feeling and they don't interpret our words as something else. 

     When trying to communicate while upset, remember to use these words:

When________________

I feel_________________(taking ownership of your emotions)

Because_______________(self disclosure)

I would like____________

     This will better help explain to someone why it is that you are upset, what things they are doing that upset, and allows you to take ownership of your own feelings as well as being able to express them. The last step allows you to suggest what you would like to happen instead to avoid miscommunication again. 

     Something else that we covered in class was The EAR checklist. The EAR checklist stands for Empathy, Assertiveness, and Respect. When you have empathy for someone you acknowledge their feelings and find truth in what they are saying. Assertiveness is shown through expressing your feelings openly, directly, and tactically using "I feel" statement. Respect is shown by conveying caring and respect even when you are frustrated or annoyed with the other person. Following the EAR checklist will allow you to communicate effectively.  

     One more thing we discussed in class this week was about mutual problem solving. This comes in handy when making decisions as a family during family council. When making decisions one should come to a consensus, not a compromise. In a consensus everyone comes to the same conclusion, in a compromise you simply find a balance between the two options but neither side gets what they want. Also when it comes to family council, it should start and finish the same way. You should start with expressing love and appreciation, then a prayer, discuss to consensus, prayer, and then something that unites everyone.